Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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