We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
