Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
