But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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