seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
