Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
