Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
