: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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