Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
