worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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