I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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