This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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