oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
