I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
