its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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