i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
