We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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