You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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