Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
