So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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