What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
