6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
