I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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