I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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