so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
