you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
