puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
