he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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