in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
