Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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