BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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