Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
