So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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