I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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