You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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