I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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