My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He? As in you personified your dick?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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