My brain says no but my pants say off.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We don't watch enough power rangers
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
