Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
