So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
