HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
