I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
