Well apparently he's into motor boating.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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