he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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