eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
