What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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