gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
