I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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