He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
