I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
